In 1997, I was setting up my first computer with a friend when he asked what was the company name going to be. Just then Shiva rubbed against me and I said “Kat And Neko” from that day forth Shiva would curl up next to me while I worked through out the night. The computer use to sit on a coffee table in the corner and I would lean against the wall with a pile of pillows which Shiva next to me.

In 2000 I almost lost Shiva to an illness. I was luck to have just got a credit card or I would have never been able to pay the vet bill, but she is healthy now. In fact since moving to Toronto she has been purring out loud (before you would have to touch her to know if she was purring) and she is back to being the cute little puff ball she use to be all those years ago. (mind you she has gotten rather huge and I can’t carry her under one arm anymore but she is still and always will be a big Puff.)

So now you know the Neko half of K&N >^_^<

Name: Shivanavan “Shiva”

Born: July 1st, 1993

Height/Weight: big and puffy

Cat Type: Tabby

Eye: Golden green

Current Location: Poking me in the back with her paw because I’m not paying attention to her.

Fav. Food: Whiskas (aka Psycho kitty… have you seen the pic on the bag LOL)

Hobbies: Tearing everything to pieces that isn’t nailed down. and even things that are… “SHIVA STOP CLAWING THAT CHAIR!!”

Fav. Toy: Her White furry mouse. The only one she hasn’t torn to shreds.. yet..

Fav. Game: “Come chase me” Basically she runs up to someone and Meows then runs way and expects the person to follow her. Weird game I know but it is fun if you chase her all around the house until she stops meowing. Speaking of which *runs off to chase Shiva around the apartment then returns exhausted.* Yeah..*pant* fun…

Fav. Look out spot: The window above my bed. I had to nail a piece of carpet up there so she would quite slipping and falling on me while I sleep.

Fav. Sleeping spot: Hard to say seeing as she is a cat and can sleep almost anywhere. If I’m going on a trip she will sleep on my suitcase. but for the most part she just likes to curl up next to me when she can

Polly

Cutie

Now for more info about my love:

Name: Kimberly Louise Drake

Birth: March 26, 1983

Birth Place: Providence, RI, USA

Height: 5′ 1″

Weight: She says too much but I think she is perfect

Eyes: Reddish Brown

Hair: Brunette

Current Location: Toronto, ON, CAN

Pets: Two Cats (Polly & Cutie) and one dog (Bear)

Fav. Food: Pizza, Boca, Rolo Milkshakes and most cheesy goods.

Hobbies: Being playful and frisky around Kat. “Teasing her is always fun too.”

Fav. Book: Harry Potter

Fav. Comedian: Eddie Izzard and Margret Cho

Fav. Anime: BGC 2040, GunSmith Cats, Cowboy Bebop, Outlaw Star, Sailor Moon and Tenchi Muyo.

Fav. Manga: GunSmith Cats, Tenchi Muyo, Azumanga Daioh and Angel/Dust.

Fav. Mangaka: CLAMP, Hitoshi Okuda, Kenichi Sonoda and Hayao Miyazaki

Fav. Musician: Nobuo Uematsu, Melissa Etheridge, Indigo Girls, T.A.T.U, Barry White and Bjork.

Fav. Actor/Actress: Sandra bullock and Shawn Connory

Fav. Songs: Resist (M. Etheridge), All the things she said (TATU) and The last night of the world (Miss Saigon)

Fav. Video Games – Most Square soft games, Burnout 3 (current addiction) and metal gear solid games

She changed her last name as a sign that she wasn’t going to look back at the person she use to be and look forward from then on, but this proved to be more of a struggle then she first thought it to be. The New Kathryn found it hard to get back into society, She struggled and fought her way back into school then finally graduated with a Major in her second love, Arts. But this wasn’t enough. Something was still missing. So she again found herself staring at the ceiling again passing the time by drawing giant murals on her apartment walls. After a year of sitting around waiting for something to happen it finally did. She was visiting a local comic book shop when she ran into a young man who was also interested in Anime/Manga like herself. He offered to take her to an Anime showing at a nearby University. With nothing better to do she agreed. This would turn out to have been the best move she could have ever made

At the showing it was announced that the club was looking for a Mascot artist and was having a contest for just this. The man has seen some of her works and insisted she try out. She thought it over for a bit and before she knew it the day for finally entries was at hand and she still had nothing to show. so while sitting in the doctor’s office Kat sketched out the first images of what would later become “Neko Haruka” Not only did the club like the designs but she was given the mascot job. Soon people were asking about her other works and before she knew what was happening people started hounding her for more artwork.

With some newly found self-confidence Kathryn took the next impossible step. The World of Gallery arts. This would prove to herself if she really was any good. What she didn’t expect was the lack of respect in the art community for an Artist who draws in the Anime/Manga style. Right when she was about to give up she was finally given a break when she was notified that her work would be put in the Gay Pride Art Show. This was it. If this show didn’t turn out she was going to give up before even starting. Prepared for the worse Kathryn took a deep breath and stepped into her new life, as she entered the doors of the Gallery. The show was a bigger success then she had ever expected, she didn’t sell a thing but people loved her work so much that she decided right then that this was what she was going to do. She was going to write about the one thing she knew about more then anything else. And she was going to publish it as a Manga.

The next few years went by pretty much in a blur as Kathryn quickly grew from an Unknown artist to Guest of Honour at conventions around North America. She stumbled every now and then, but quickly gained the respect of many others in the industry, and is becoming known as the only known North American Lesbian Shoujo Ai Mangaka. This coupled with her journey to help others who are survivors through her stories has lead to T. V. and newspaper interviews as well as numerous appearances at Conventions. Now with the support of her fans she has begun to rewrite her first Manga “A Shadowlander’s Dream” as well as print a new story told from the eyes of a rape survivor.

Now known simply as “Kat” she works long side The AniLesboCon in an effort to help bring the world of Shoujo Ai to others by helping with everything from creating a collective Manga Anthology to working on Animation. Today there seems to be very little that will stop Kathryn’s will to survive. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.
Name: Kathryn Karin Williams

Birth: April 29, 1975 (???)

Birth Place: Somewhere

Height: 5′ 7 ”

Weight: Not enough according to everyone else… lets just say that I’m thin.

Eyes: Light to Deep blue depending on mood.

Hair: Reddish blonde (looks brown right now)

Current Location: Toronto, ON, CAN

Pets: One Cat – Lord Shiva

Education: Beal Arts Major

Other Studies: Japanese, Film, Advertising, Child Psych.,

Favourite Food: hmmm… I mostly eat Rice (I like most Japanese food) , Pizza and KD, as well as live off Doritos (I love Zesty) and kool aid. Other then that I don’t eat very much at all.

Job: This!

Hobbies: My Job is my hobby now unless you consider studying the Japanese Language a hobby or the fact that I have well over 200 Anime title and to much manga to count. “It’s my Job I tell you honestly!!!”

Favourite Anime: What I have to pick just one??? Right now Alien 9 is at the top. Mostly shoujo with Card Captor Sakura (not Cardcaptors), Angelic Layers, Omishi Magical theater Risky Safety, sister princess, Fruits basket and Figure 17 is at the top of my list right now. Mind you Noir, Ran, Hikaru no Go and Galaxy Angels are up there too.

Favourite Manga: hmmmmm Another tough one. Again Alien 9, Angelic Layers and Card Captor Sakura as well as Angel/dust, Shadow Star, Narue no Sekai, Momo-chan Sensai, Geo Breeders and of course Chirality.

Favourite Mangaka (artist): Hitoshi Tomizawa, CLAMP, Satoshi Urushihara, and Aoi Nanase.

Favourite Musician: Hitomi Yaida, Yoko Kanno, Sakura Tange and Yoko Sakaki.

Favourite Seiyu: Junko Iwan

Favourite songs: Rebirth – Kumi version, My Sweet Darlin’, Into the Future, Busy Now, Love in the Cradle, Sweet Call

Favourite Video Games: One word “SQUARESOFT” there I said it.

Favourite Authors: John Saul, Douglas Adams.

Over the next few years I met more and more artists that were struggling to get published. I had gained some extra cash so decided to hire a few artists to work on their own projects and teach them the ins and outs of self publishing with the intent that when they were ready they could branch off and do it for themselves. Mind you after awhile K&N could not keep up with all the artists that wanted help so had to either drop them or be dragged under. I still help out other artists in the publishing field but not financially anymore. Now I travel around to conventions as a guest and teach people all over North America about the wonderful world of self publishing.

Over the last year I’d been finding myself getting tired. Not wanting to wake up. Not wanting to face the world. Just like I use to be when I was a teen. I felt like I had nothing and that the only thing there was my shadowlands. Once again I felt myself slipping into a deep depression. I needed something, some kind of motivation and the usual fandom was not working. I felt that all anyone cared about was me finishing the next book then several things happened that reawakened my fighting spirit.

First I stumbled upon a group of great women who were trying to get the North America to take them serious about their love for Shoujo ai and Yuri. At that time they called themselves Anilesbocon or ALC (now known as Yuricon). Seeing as I am a Shoujo ai artist and understood the problems they were coming up against. So I asked the founder, now my friend, how serious they were about making ALC happen. I got an email back the next day telling me how much they were willing to work at making this Con happen. I smiled with glee and told them that I’d help out in any way I could and so began ALC’s take over of the world. (have you been stickered yet?)

While in LA I met a woman who asked me to sign one of my books for her daughter who is a rape survivor, like myself, the girl was struggling and the mother wanted me to write something to her in the book. A month later I heard back from the Daughter, She thanked me for writing my tales and can’t wait until the next volume. I suddenly was reminded of all the faces over the past years. All the people who thanked me for writing my stories. I then realized there were allot more people like myself in the world that need a “Shadowlands”.

At the end of last year I ran into an anime like no other. Alien 9 was like nothing I’d ever seen before. Actually it reminded me of my shadowlands. Here was a story that was focusing on just the things I’m trying to face. Here is someone who is brave enough to write what they feel like and not what everyone wanted. At that moment I decided to do two things. I would continue writing the Shadowlands the way I feel, to not be afraid of it anymore and to support spreading awareness of rape and abuse through art and literature. After a 6 year search I finally found something to live for. Currently K&N proudly supports Alien 9 (which has now been licensed by CPM) no matter how many people shout and scream at the film. I will not turn my back on children or let their problems be brushed under the carpet anymore. This is the vow I make and I will do my best to keep to it.

Being in a small town I could not do anything, so pick up my things and began making the long journey to the big city of Toronto.

So if things are going so well then why have I switched to Online Manga? There are several reasons. As I said before I’m disabled and the stress of the last year wasn’t very good on my heath (both mentally and physically) I scared my doctors and friends, some who tried to convince me that I might want to just quite and rest for a while. I’m not one to quit and I have a devotion to my fans to get the next book done. Also other reasons if the fans, I am very gratefully and happy to have such devoted fans that are willing to wait an entire year for me to show up at a con in their area so they can get the next book. I talked to a bunch of my fans who have said that no matter what I do they will support me and read my works. So now all my fans can read the shadowlands as quickly as I can upload them and not await for the next convention. I’ll still be going to Cons as a guest and to sell prints but the books will be online until I am able to do other wise without having to take everyone’s money by gun point. >^_^< Now that I don’t have to stress out about printing I can ge back on a regular work schedule. So expect to see something uploaded art wise every week from here on in. How does that sound to everyone?

Well there is work to be done. Jaa ne Minna and Enjoy.

Writer/Artist Kathryn K Williams

If you see a child crying, do you just turn your back and say it isn’t your business? If you see a woman in a store with a black eye, do you just pass by and ignore her? People think I’m weird because I can’t turn my back on anyone, no matter how much people try to make me. Yuri may only be a character in a show, but I felt for her. Instead of wanting to hit her I wanted to hug her. I found a few other people who felt the same so decided to make a way for people to show their support for Alien 9 and survivors of all forms of violent acts. If you want to help, then all you have to do is add one of the banners to your site. You can link it here if you like, but this is not a requirement. Just having the image up on your site means a lot.

I’d like to thank everyone who supported the Hug, don’t hit campain fund raiser during AN this year. We raised $200 from the Kids Help Phone and they sent us a letter of thanks. The thank you sould go to all of you that helped fill the jar and who wrote in. Your words have been alot of help in hard time.

Soon I’ll be adding a links to Abuse and Rape support sites here for those who are looking for help. If you know of any sites that would be helpful feel free to email me. And thank you everyone for your support!

This essay is based on the OVA and not the manga. Hitoshi Tomizawa and the A9 Producers both stated in interviews that the OVA and the Manga are not the same and that the OVA is just one interputation of the story. This essay is based on that interputation.

To skip to my updated Alien 9 FAQ’s

A Kat’s View of Alien 9

Writen by Kathryn K Williams with assistance from Andrew Torrens; BA in Psychology.

It has been almost a year since a Japanese friend of mine sent me the first episode of Alien 9 to watch. I didn’t know at the time what I was walking into, but something about the series struck me from the very beginning. Part of me understood far too well what I was watching which is probably why I continued to watch it. An episode came every month, and slowly I noticed a very deep and dark story evolve. For me, the metaphors were easy to look past. While others seem to be stuck on the “What” and “Why” of every little detail and just took everything as it was. I’m used to seeing strange things in my dreams so I just looked at Alien 9 in the same way, but I noticed that others who watched the show were left completely lost, or worse, angered by the show. The extreme emotions that were portrayed in the story were making people want to act out violently against the characters in the series. While the beauty of the storytelling moved me while others were spitting and cursing at the screen. For some reason, I felt all their words were aimed at me. Why? Because I’m a child abuse survivor and watching Alien 9 was like looking at myself at that age. Seeing people wanting to hit a child for crying showed me that the world still has a long way to go and in some cases not changed in one bit. So instead of turning my back I stood up and defended the film. I felt angry, not just because of the violent emotions towards these characters but also because of people’s ignorance toward their situation. I couldn’t understand why people could not see what for me was in plain black and white. After being asked to do a few discussions on the series, I discovered that it was more then just ignorance that I was dealing with. Now I sit here writing about how the film affected me, and about all the little things I saw that many were not capable of seeing. Hopefully this paper will help, people will have a clearer look at why I consider this a great film, and why I want more people to see it.

When I first started to watch Alien 9 I didn’t know what I was getting into. The opening made me think it was going to be another silly cute Anime about children chasing aliens, but before I even got ten minutes into the first part, I knew it was much more. I wasn’t sure what until much later but felt drawn into the show like nothing else. My first clue was the reaction Ootani Yuri had towards the aliens. The graph/chart that showed the percentage of girls who like and dislike aliens and what they didn’t like about them. Yuri states that she doesn’t like to be “looked at, touched, and especially not licked” by aliens. It wasn’t until later that I realized that the “Borgu” is a representation of adolescence or even puberty. The other girls laugh during an examination and talk about how when a girl becomes an Alien Controller they are known to grow faster then normal. To me, this says something about a girl’s puberty and some of the things that one would hear in elementary school about girls that have already hit that age. The biggest clue that I was right about the aliens being connected to adulthood is the teachers themselves who have wires for hair.

Now let’s stop a moment and look at the girls as they stood at the beginning of the series. The first girl is Ootani Yuri, a shy little girl who is afraid of aliens, but overall she is normal 12 year old girl. She is emotional and cries a bit, but what do you expect from a child who is pushed into growing up before she is ready and forced in to violent situations. Her mother only cares about her child doing what she is told. When Yuri mentions not wanting to be an Alien Controller and how she was pushed into the job, her mother just tells her to do it anyway. This is a realistic reflection of how children in Japan are pressured by their parents. Talking with one of my friends who lived in Japan for a while, she mentioned that Yuri’s family was just like the family she stayed with. The Mother would push the girl to work harder and harder until the girl would break down into tears. It is a sad truth about the reality of Japan’s society.

WARNING!!! This is a complete break down of the series. Hopefully it will answer many of the questions people have had about the series but if you have not yet seen the ending then I suggest going back to the Alien 9 review.

To skip to my updated Alien 9 FAQ’s

A Kat’s View of Alien 9

It has been almost a year since a Japanese friend of mine sent me the first episode of Alien 9 to watch. I didn’t know at the time what I was walking into, but something about the series struck me from the very beginning. Part of me understood far too well what I was watching which is probably why I continued to watch it. An episode came every month, and slowly I noticed a very deep and dark story evolve. For me, the metaphors were easy to look past. While others seem to be stuck on the “What” and “Why” of every little detail and just took everything as it was. I’m used to seeing strange things in my dreams so I just looked at Alien 9 in the same way, but I noticed that others who watched the show were left completely lost, or worse, angered by the show. The extreme emotions that were portrayed in the story were making people want to act out violently against the characters in the series. While the beauty of the storytelling moved me while others were spitting and cursing at the screen. For some reason, I felt all their words were aimed at me. Why? Because I’m a child abuse survivor and watching Alien 9 was like looking at myself at that age. Seeing people wanting to hit a child for crying showed me that the world still has a long way to go and in some cases not changed in one bit. So instead of turning my back I stood up and defended the film. I felt angry, not just because of the violent emotions towards these characters but also because of people’s ignorance toward their situation. I couldn’t understand why people could not see what for me was in plain black and white. After being asked to do a few discussions on the series, I discovered that it was more then just ignorance that I was dealing with. Now I sit here writing about how the film affected me, and about all the little things I saw that many were not capable of seeing. Hopefully this paper will help, people will have a clearer look at why I consider this a great film, and why I want more people to see it.

When I first started to watch Alien 9 I didn’t know what I was getting into. The opening made me think it was going to be another silly cute Anime about children chasing aliens, but before I even got ten minutes into the first part, I knew it was much more. I wasn’t sure what until much later but felt drawn into the show like nothing else. My first clue was the reaction Ootani Yuri had towards the aliens. The graph/chart that showed the percentage of girls who like and dislike aliens and what they didn’t like about them. Yuri states that she doesn’t like to be “looked at, touched, and especially not licked” by aliens. It wasn’t until later that I realized that the “Borgu” is a representation of adolescence or even puberty. The other girls laugh during an examination and talk about how when a girl becomes an Alien Controller they are known to grow faster then normal. To me, this says something about a girl’s puberty and some of the things that one would hear in elementary school about girls that have already hit that age. The biggest clue that I was right about the aliens being connected to adulthood is the teachers themselves who have wires for hair.

Now let’s stop a moment and look at the girls as they stood at the beginning of the series. The first girl is Ootani Yuri, a shy little girl who is afraid of aliens, but overall she is normal 12 year old girl. She is emotional and cries a bit, but what do you expect from a child who is pushed into growing up before she is ready and forced in to violent situations. Her mother only cares about her child doing what she is told. When Yuri mentions not wanting to be an Alien Controller and how she was pushed into the job, her mother just tells her to do it anyway. This is a realistic reflection of how children in Japan are pressured by their parents. Talking with one of my friends who lived in Japan for a while, she mentioned that Yuri’s family was just like the family she stayed with. The Mother would push the girl to work harder and harder until the girl would break down into tears. It is a sad truth about the reality of Japan’s society.

The second girl is Kawamura Kumi, a tall and strong young girl who is always placed in charge. She helps her mother with her research, has been the class president since first grade, and the person everyone comes to for help. However, this year (grade six) she has decided that she doesn’t want to help anyone. This became evident when Yuri approaches Kumi, and Kumi pushes the other girl away, telling Yuri that she doesn’t want to be in charge or have people depend on her anymore and runs away. Although Kumi doesn’t want to be in charge, she is always there for Yuri, ready to save the day. When Kasumi mentions that the two girls make a cute couple, Kumi tells her not to make them a couple. Neither Yuri nor Kumi, at this point, has come to call the other by their first name. They are very formal around each other, which shows that they respect each other, if nothing else.

The third girl is Toomine Kasumi, a tiny energetic girl who seems to be perfect at everything. She has awards lining the walls of her room and doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything. In fact, she seems to loves everything she does and everyone around her. Her father is willing to let her do anything she wants but will not let her quit until she sees it through. There is one thing Kasumi loves more then anything else and that is her big brother. At first they only hint at this, but later it becomes more apparent that this love is more then just sibling love. Also, she seems to be a lot more adult in way then the other girls, something I’ll go into more later.

Finally there is Yuri’s closest friend, Tamaki Miyu. For the most part, she is there for emotional support. Miyu is the only one who doesn’t think Yuri is a crybaby and she is always willing to wait after school for Yuri so they talk and can walk home together – a true friend.

The story revolves, for the most part, around the Borgu; there is quite a bit of rather disturbing images involving these aliens. They look like bat winged toads or helmets that attach to the girls head and feed by sucking on the girls’ spine. Watching Yuri in a tub with this alien licking her back while she cried was disturbing in itself. The Borgu act as a shield around the girls, like a person’s personal boundaries taking on a physical form. Yuri’s Borgu is always talking rationally which reminded me of someone battling with themselves.

“Shouldn’t we be doing this?”

“No, we were told to do this, but?”

“Well come on then.”

“I don’t know.”

For the most part, you only get to hear what Yuri’s Borgu has to say about a situation. Kasumi’s only agrees with her unconditionally while Kumi’s doesn’t say much of anything, just like her. Later it becomes more apparent that the Borgu is the first stage of adolescence. When the child comes to accept adulthood, the two become one being. There are other kinds of Borgu that appear. These Borgu attach to boys heads and make them think of things other than their previous hobbies. After the boys put the aliens on their heads, they suddenly start to attack the girls and always smiling for some odd reason. The grin became rather creepy for me. The victim is usually Yuri, and all they can think of is her. But she isn’t any good at defending herself so Kumi and Kasumi end up in the role of protectors. During this situation, Kumi finally gets angry at Yuri for being too weak and hiding behind everyone and makes Yuri cry. Kumi tries to apologize but turns around and tries to run away only to be stopped by Kasumi. Kasumi grabs Kumi’s clothes and starts yelling “Nyaaa!” over and over again. Almost in a panicky state. Where before I thought of Kasumi as just an energetic little girl, I found myself noticing that there was a lot more to her. She has no way of expressing her emotions and communicating in general other than saying “Nyaaa!” or “I like/love ____” Kumi gives up and joins everyone at Yuri’s birthday party. Just seeing Kumi there makes Yuri break down into tears. (Interesting side note: When she sees Kumi at the door, Yuri says “Kumi-ch… uh… Kawamura-san.” Then she blushes deep red and Kumi stammers and can’t look at the other girl in the eyes. This told me so much about how these two felt about each other.)

The next day, their teacher decides that the best way for Yuri to overcome her fears is to make her feed the aliens which are kept in storage, on her own. Everyone is waiting for Yuri to finish, but those boys from before have other plans. This part left a lot of people confused as you watch the boys appear from behind Yuri, and then fire drills through the sides of her Borgu. It’s blood drips down Yuri’s face as she collapses to her knees and begins to cry and shake. The Borgu tries to hold on but suddenly falls apart then thrashes about killing every alien in the room. The teacher arrives at that moment to watch a tearful Yuri stumble out of the room. Yuri walks into the next room where Kasumi and Kumi are waiting, crying because somehow they are able to feel Yuri’s fears. She kills their Borgu and then moves on to where Miyu waits where she finally collapses into her friend’s arms, sobbing heavily. As I said, most were left lost and confused by what just happened, but from a survivor’s point of view was clear. The boys had raped Yuri who then lashes out at anything alien (adult) until she found the only place she feels safe: her friend’s arms.

The whole rape scene left me at a loss for words. I wasn’t sure what I had seen, and it wasn’t until the next episode that I was sure. The next day Yuri has nightmare after nightmare of those boys attacking her. She sees them at every turn and constantly wakes up in the night shaking and crying. The interesting thing is now Kumi and Kasumi can feel the emotions that Yuri feels. Beforehand, they couldn’t understand why she cried so much, what she could be so afraid of. Now they don’t just understand but they feel it too. This connection brings Kumi, Kasumi and Yuri closer to each other. All four girls (Miyu included) spend the summer vacation at Kasumi’s summer house and try to show Yuri that she isn’t alone. It took a while to figure out what the connection between the three girls was. Why is it that now Kasumi and Kumi can feel Yuri’s pain and share her nightmares? It wasn’t until I fully realized that Kasumi and Kumi are far from normal little girls did I realize that, before the rape, Yuri was the only “normal” one. The three didn’t have anything really in common until Yuri was attacked: each has some sort of pain that they are hiding from the world. Yuri is the only one who is able to show her pain. Kasumi is obsessed with needing approval and affection that shows in her constant need for praise and Kumi just hides her pain deep inside herself and quietly lets it build up. Their shared pain brings the girls a lot closer to each other. Kumi and Yuri stopped referring to each other by their last names at this time and start accepting their feelings for each other. There is a beautiful moment between Yuri and Kumi as Kumi wraps her arms around the little girl and whispered in her ear that she and everyone will always be there for Yuri. She then squeezes the little girl tight. Another during the fireworks festival where Kumi is staring at Yuri who is playing with a sparkler. Yuri looks up and the two girls eyes catch for a moment. They both blush and look away. It looks as though, maybe, these girls have a chance at recovering from whatever it was that was tormenting their young hearts.

Just when it looks like things are going well, everything spirals downward. A new alien arrives at the school. Yellow Knife is nothing like the little aliens that appeared before. His presence represents something darker then just fear. Kasumi is drawn to the creature and meets it late at night. Smiling, she takes its hands and is tossed into the air and is swallowed whole.

I’ll give the writers credit for knowing the perfect time for ending an episode. My mind was racing all month waiting to find out what just happened. Why did Kasumi let herself be eaten by a giant alien creature? Is she alive? What the hell is going on here? Needless to say, all my questions were answered in the most shocking ending to a series I’ve ever seen. All of a sudden everything I believed became a reality. Even though I saw the signs about what this story was leading up to even I didn’t want to believe it. Yellow Knife is another metaphor for something much more. It causes all the children to get headaches and only Yuri and Kumi are safe when they are wearing their Borgu. When Kumi tries to save Kasumi, it attacks by showing the girls what they fear the most.

Kumi is suddenly alone. The thing she has been repressing is how alone she feels, and when Yellow Knife forces her to face those feelings, she finally breaks down. She falls to the ground screaming and for the first time in the series, cries. She huddles in a ball and cries out to her dead father over and over again. She has never told anyone how alone she felt. Even though her mother was around, she was always working and needed Kumi to help out. Her father died when she was very little so Kumi had to grow up very fast. Now all the loneliness she was feeling comes out in one heap. Her Borgu wraps its wings around her and tells her that there is nothing to fear because no matter what happens it would be with her. This scene reminded me of what it feels like when pulling myself back together after a breakdown, like I was wrapping myself up with string and talking myself into living. Kumi gives herself one thing to live for– Yuri — and heads out to find her.

Yuri first finds Kasumi and suddenly you are shown just what kind of a relationship the little blonde had with her brother as a boy with the head of the yellow knife walks past Yuri, slips it’s head under Kasumi’s shirt, and begins to push its head into her tummy. Meanwhile, Kasumi just giggles and calls out for her brother. As Kasumi said in the beginning, she loves her brother. “He’s my ___” she would say up until the end. For some reason he was sent to study abroad and she now blames herself. All she wants is her brother again and now he was there. To fill the void, she turned to everything else she was good at, but it wasn’t enough. All the praise could not cover up the feelings of loss she has for her brother.

There were a lot of little signs that showed that Kasumi was a lot more “adult” then the other girls. She was eager to become an Alien Controller. She pushed Yuri and Kumi together. The way she told everyone she “loved” her brother when people asked about him, her bathing suit. To most she just looked like another chipper Anime girl, but to me she seemed much more. While she is inside Yellow Knife, he tells her about how much he loves her and there is a scene where a yellowish white fluid of some kind drops onto her cheek and rolls into her mouth. She licks her lips and smiles, saying “Yes, big brother.” People have asked me where Yellow Knife came from because he states that he didn’t want to be there. So who wanted him there? Kasumi. Yellow Knife isn’t actually evil; he is just there to protect Kasumi. It is just like the Borgu. This becomes evident when Yuri’s Borgu gets in an argument with Yellow Knife about who Yuri belongs to.

Kumi finally finds Yuri and with the girl at her side, she finds the strength to go after Yellow Knife. Kasumi is not willing to go yet; she doesn’t understand that Kumi is trying to help her and only sees the fact that they’re trying to take her away from her brother so attacks Kumi. She knocks Kumi’s Borgu off her head by forming her hair into some weird antennae device (sort of like a cross between teachers hair and Yellow Knifes but more extreme) then tries to strangle Kumi. Kumi’s Borgu wants to kill Kasumi because if Kumi dies then it dies as well, but Kumi doesn’t want anyone else she cares for to die. She would rather be dead then have to live with being alone anymore. Kumi and her Borgu struggle against each other while Kasumi squeezes the life out of Kumi. Finally, Yuri breaks free of her fears and shield Kasumi from Kumi’s Borgu’s attack. Yuri throws herself on Kasumi and starts crying for her to stop. Yellow Knife sees that he is causing pain and is no longer needed and that Kasumi has people to watch over her for him. He lets Kasumi go, and then dies in a massive explosion.

Back to Yellow Knife for a moment. Each of the Borgu are in a sense a part of the girls. Yuri and Kumi’s both are there to help the girls out when they are needed. Yuri’s tries to encourage her to be stronger and Kumi’s tries to teach her that she isn’t alone. So what about Kasumi’s Borgu? It agrees with everything she does unconditionally, never disagrees, and even refers to her as Kasumi-ojosama (Princess Kasumi). She needed something that would understand her and protect her instead of something that would follow her ever beck and call. This is where Yellow Knife came in. Kasumi needed Yellow Knife and he appeared. He tried to be the one thing she needed more then anything in the world. Something that loved her as much as she loved him. Yellow Knife filled the gap that was left when her brother was taken away from her. When Yellow Knife frees her the two become one (as shown with Kasumi’s hair trick).

That evening Kumi calls her mother and tries to tell her about everything, but instead all she can say is that everything is perfectly fine and bursts into tears. Everything is fine; Kasumi is alive (or is she?). Yuri is a bit stronger. Kumi finally can let out her emotions, and her Borgu is recovering in the nurse’s room. The sun rises on what looks like another normal day, but Kumi can’t stop thinking. She roller blades up and down the library halls, moving faster and faster. Suddenly, her Borgu gets up and struggles to pull itself out the door; Kasumi is looking out a window when she suddenly turns around and starts running. Both find Kumi’s body lying on the ground, dead. Yuri is the last to feel Kumi’s pain as she bursts into tears and the credits start to roll.

I’ve had many people ask me “What happened?”. Well, Kumi committed suicide. It is hard to believe, but that is what happened. “Why?” is the next question. Simple really, she gave herself one last reason to live, to save her friend. She could not accept the fact that she wasn’t truly alone in the world, so with her friends safe, she decided there was no reason left to live. (But but but…) This is the one thing I liked about the series. The girls didn’t suddenly pull back together. They were real. It is not easy to just pull yourself back together after falling apart. I cried for days after watching the ending. I was shocked at first, but then I remembered how I was at that age. I tried killing myself in almost the same manner, but with a bicycle and not roller blades. Guess I was lucky because someone found me before I died. Or maybe Kumi was the lucky one because she was finally freed of her pains. The saddest thing for me was I really felt that Kumi and Yuri were finally accepting their feelings for each other. Although I’m not much for happy endings, I was truly hoping that those two would end up together. All of the characters in the series were so real even though the story was wrapped up in a surreal world. For me, it made a lot of sense. It took a moment (a week is a moment for me at times) but instead of getting mad at the film I felt it was beautiful. The emotions showed in Yuri were those of a child struggling and didn’t seem false. Kumi’s death didn’t feel forced or that they were trying to go for shock value but more of a fact of life. It is a sad fact that many children suffer as these girls did, and when they die people are left lost and confused. They aren’t sure what happened, or why. The fact that they didn’t go out of their way to explain her death is the way it should be. Explaining things away is just a way for people to dismiss what is important: Kumi’s pain.

There are a lot of people who have said that Yuri is weak, a crybaby, that she should “get some balls”, and so on. In truth, I think she is the strongest of them all. She lived. She is able to show her emotions and not bury them deep inside herself. Most of all, she was able to let herself love again.

I always saw Kumi as the bravest and at the same time the most fragile them all. She only cares about the people she loves and not herself. If she could have admitted to herself that she needed others as much as they needed her and that she could depend on people as well, then maybe she would have not of ended her life in that way. Who can tell, but Kumi will always be on my mind.

Kasumi looked at first to be the most cheerful but in the end turned out to be the most disturbed, which proves that you can’t judge a book by its cover. After everything is over, she has changed the most. No longer is she the cute little girl she once was. I think this is one thing the artist wanted to do: making the Anime look cute on the outside but underneath showing just how dark the world truly is. Just like reality, People see only what is on the surface and not the inner pains that some try hard to bury within.

For some reason I felt a need for others to see this show. I needed more people to see the pains we children have suffered behind closed doors, the things that people would rather brush under a carpet. I needed others to see the feelings and pains that no child should have to feel, but still do to this day. The portrayal of their pain and sadness is so real that I hope by having more see it that perhaps they will understand more about what it is like to be a child in these situations. I’ve found a new cause to stand behind, something that gives me strength. At first I was upset by others’ reactions to this show, but with each person who was angry I noticed others that truly wanted to learn more. This showed me that there was still a small chance for change in this world. When I heard that Central Park Media was bringing not only the Anime but also the Manga to North America, I felt something I couldn’t explain. Soon more people will be able to see the film that touched me. Soon more people will understand which is why I’m writing this now. Even if it is a small difference, if only one person is affected by the show then that is enough. To make them more aware that the world isn’t as bright and rosy as we are lead to think. So here I stand, supporting a film that most would consider just another insane story. Hopefully after reading this some of you will understand why I am supporting this film, and what it is that made this Anime so special in my mind.

(Ending note: At the time this was written I’ve only had a chance to read the Japanese edition of the Manga. There is a much more in that but since my Japanese is still fuzzy I’m waiting until the English edition is released I’m leaving out some of the details that it explains for the future. Sorry. )

Alien 9 Paper FAQ

Okay since writing this paper I’ve gotten a lot of e-mail. Thank you to all of those who support me and your kind words. Now there are a few who had other views and wanted to know what further justification I had for my points. Instead of updating the essay itself I’d decided just to add a FAQ section. Hopefully it will be able to add some further insight into my reasoning.

Q: What makes you think that Yuri was Raped? There is nothing sexual about the anything in A9.

A: Okay, I’ve heard a few people who think I’m wrong about the whole rape thing and feel that because of being a rape survivor, I am seeing things that are not there. Here is my point of view. Either:

a) The attacks were purely physical
b) The attacks were sexual.

Now if we take into account that the Aliens on the children’s heads are symbols of adolescence then the two views end up looking something like this:

a) When boys hit puberty they suddenly find themselves having violent tendencies towards girls which leads, in some, to have an urge to kill them.

b) When Boys hit puberty they start finding themselves having sexual feelings towards girls, which, for a certain small minority, leads them to attempt/commit rape.

Which of these two points of view make the most sense in the context of the rest of the film?

Now for some more details concerning Yuri’s rape. The boys’ symbol of adulthood pierces the girl’s symbol of adulthood. That’s not to mention the inside of the girl’s borgu looking, to some, like a placenta, the orientation, motion, and nature of the drills from the boys’ aliens, and the nightmares in which Yuri finds herself shivering in the middle of a pool nude and crying, not to mention the nature and focus of the flashbacks Yuri experiences. All these point to a sexual attack then a physical one and there for more a symbol of her being raped.

Regardless of whether you feel the attack is sexual, one point remains. In one form or another, that scene is a very violent and strong depiction of violence of men towards women.

Q: What about the Teachers? They keep talking about some contest..

A: Actually the answer is simpler then it looks. All japanese schools, and the teachers and councillors in them, compete to see which has the more mature and successful students. I never thought the teachers acted oddly because I found it normal for them to be competing, just as teachers and councillors do in many other Anime. It wasn’t until someone brought it up to me that I had to really think about it.

Q: What makes you think that Kumi Committed Suicide? The Manga shows an Alien killed her!

A: One thing a lot of people forget is that this paper is an analysis of the Anime. I didn’t want to spoil the Manga for those who haven’t read it yet, and, at the time of writing the paper, I had not completely translated the manga myself. However, for those of you who keep asking me to change my views, yes, I’ve read the Manga, but I still believe that she did commit suicide even if it is done in an odd symbolism. Remember that all the aliens in the series were symbols. This one is no different. If you feel differently then write your own views and please stop trying to tell me I need to change mine.

Q: Can you send me copies of the Series or scans of the manga?

A: No, You can purchase the Manga starting in May of 2003 and the DVD in the summer from CPM. You can order your copy of the manga now!

Marin (13) is an orphan who was left on the door step of a boarding house filled with odd people. A scientist and his American Assistant, A young nurse and her Drunk father, and a kind old Woman. All helped raise Marin so she considers them all family and doesn’t think her life is odd. At school she is picked on for being lower class and an orphan but despite all this she is very happy. Marin herself is a very interesting character in that she doesn’t seem to care what anyone thinks about her and has this weird over active imagination in which she dreams up all sorts of impossibly weird things that might happen to her (like a monster coming out of the forbidden shine and eating her) You’re never quite sure if she is dreaming or not until the dream ends.

On the first day of school a strange image of a city appeared in the skies all around the world. No one known what this image is or why is appeared. Unexpectedly something falls from the sky and lands in Marin’s room. It is a strange one eyed robot which suddenly proceeds to try and kill the little girl. At first I was awaiting this to be another one of the girls strange dreams but it isn’t. Marin ends up running to the forbidden shine to hide when she finds a strange looking pin. Just as she picks it up the Robot appears then another Robot appears out of a puff of blue smoke and rescues our Heroine.

This other robots turns out to be from a place called Brigadoon in which Marin nick names “Malen Blue” because his name is too long and hard to pronounce. He proclaim that he will watch over Marin and protect her from anything that tries to hurt her. This means anything from the boys who try looking up her skirt to school bullies and the occasional alien death machine.

“Marin and Melan”
I’m finding I really like Marin. Even with Malen as a body guard she would rather face her problems herself and not have someone stand up for her. As I said she doesn’t seem to care much what people think of her but hates it if someone targets the people that she holds dear. At first I thought this just another cute anime but after watching a few episodes I realized there is allot more. This has got to be the cutest Shoujo Ai I’ve ever seen, From Moe, Marin’s best friend, Blushing over showing up early to walk with her to school, to their fall down a flights of stairs and confession. At the same time it is very dark and deep such as Moe being scolded by her mother to her trying to protect Marin from a bunch of school bullies which leads to a beautiful scene in which Moe promises to protect Marin when ever Melan isn’t around. This story really hit close to home for me and found the story very uplifting for such a dark tale about friendship and love

Note: The series is NOT by the creators of Excel Saga (like the package said) JC Staff did Produce Excel Saga, but Alien Nine was by J.C Staff and Genco (like Azumanga Daioh, Figure 17, Tiny Snow fairy Sugar and many more)

Also the Screenplay writer, Sadayuki Murai didn’t work on Cowboy bebop the series. He did the Movie. Added should be Perfect Blue and Boogiepop Phantom. Those are closer to what you should expect. what you should expect from this series.

Now the review

Someone sent me this Anime stating that I’ll “Really like it”, so I gave it a try. The first thing I thought when I started watching was “Where the hell is everyone’s nose???” I know some anime characters have small noses represented by a dot, but these people don’t have any, even in the profile shots. This looked plainly odd at points and those ears!!! They’re huge! Then the opening begins, and the girls are shown wearing these weird alien hats with bat wings, rollerblading around chasing after a big alien.. “Now this is getting just strange. What has someone sent me this time?” was all I could think.

Episode one introduces us to our young Heroine, Ootani Yuri, age 12, who has been elected by her class to be in charge of aliens. She doesn’t seem too happy about this. Slowly she walks to the gym where she meets up with two other girls the same age as Yuri. A small bouncy cute girl named Toomine Kasumi, and a tall rather cold looking girl named Kawamura Kumi. Their teacher, Hisakawa Megumi, explains that the three have been chosen to by the host for three alien symbionts call “Borg” These aliens attach to the girl’s head and protect them from harm. In return the girls allow them to feed off of them. The three girl are placed in charge of capturing all the strange aliens that land on the school ground. some reason these aliens can’t, or won’t, leave the school ground and have to be stopped before they are hurt or hurt someone. They have yet to give an explanation to why only young girls have to catch the alien (which get bigger and meaner as the episode goes on) or why the aliens keep landing on the school ground. One of the many mysteries of this show I guess. Simple story right?

There are some rather disturbing things about this anime (well disturbing to me) the most is watching these Borg feed on the girl. They do this by attaching their tongue to the girls back and drinking. What makes this more disturbing is that Yuri is terrified of aliens (doesn’t help that she watches movies show aliens bursting out of peoples chest) Whenever the Borg feed on Yuri she cries. Not the usual whiny little girl cry that you see in most Anime but more of a girl that is actually afraid (the voice actor does a great but scary job) Hear Yuri crying “Kowai yo” over and over just had an odd effect on me. One thing even thou Yuri cries a lot my one friend noted that every time she has a rather good reason to do so (like a ox like alien trying to kill her for instance.)

There seems to be an odd underline sub story to all of this. something that I can barely explain. It feels like I’m scratching at the surface of something but can’t quite figure it out. There is the whole story behind Yuri and her friend Kumi. Yuri tries to run to Kumi for help but the taller girl gets angry saying that she is tired of people always asking her for help which is why she is no longer the class president, she goes to run away but stops. Later Kumi is eating lunch with Kumi and mentions how Yuri and Kumi make a nice couple but Kumi quietly tells her friend to be quite. Thinks like this continue through the series almost like the two are struggling with feeling for each other.

Episode 2 tells a lot more about the girls and took a sudden unexpected twist. The aliens that they’re catching don’t really have much to do with the story which is probably way I continue to watch. I found myself compelled to watching more and eagerly waiting the next episode. Who knows where this Anime will lead. I recommend at least giving this anime a try.

The Art: Very interestingly done CGI overlays from building to the Borg’s odd drill like weapons. Some points were very hard to tell the fact that it was CGI (the school rooms were a nice touch) my only compliant as I said before was the faces… I just can’t get over the noses and ears. Mind you once I got into the show it really didn’t bother me as much. There were points when I could tell that the cells were CGI painted but that is just me. Other then that I liked it.

Note to parents: This anime contains scenes of graphic violence and might be disturbing to children. Hell I found it disturbing at points and was 26 at the time I first saw this.
For more info on Alien 9 visit their official site at www.alien-nine.com Note: this site in entirely in Japanese.

Update: There are still some out there who think I’m completely nuts for supporting such an Anime. After watching the show several times and creating an AMV in Memory of the series I’ve come to find this one of the sweetest Shoujo ai Shows out there. For those who still think this isn’t a Shoujo ai then I suggest they read the manga. here is one of the pages in which Kumi kisses Yuri. Sort of a Sleeping Beatury moment. For those who still think that Yuri is a cry baby and should be beaten and such I suggect they take a good look at themselves before start in on a 12 year old girl who is raped, and who is attacked repeatedly throughout the series.

Also for those of you who want to help support Alien 9 and Survivors of violence, I’ve started a banner campaign called “Hug, Don’t Hit!” Join us and help spread awareness of this cause.

If you have already seen the series and are looking for more read my paper on the series. If not continue reading on.

Fly So Very High,
Into The Deep Blue Sky.

Glide Upon The Air,
Without A Single Care.

I Would Not Dare,
Fly Way Up There.

Why Must You Die,
Little Butterfly?

It Makes Me Cry,
Watching You Fall From The Sky.

We Had So Much Time To Share,
But You Did Not Care.

For You Where Not There,
You Where Sitting On A Chair.

Far Away From Here,
Running From Your Fear.

You Must Understand,
Why I Take A Stand.

Kathryn K Williams